Tuesday, February 14, 2017

The Love Witch Conquers All & She's Killer

This is the Valentine's Day movie you should be watching. The Cinefamily told me to put the skulls in a circle & check this out. And for all you men out there, you came into this world through a woman and some of us will leave this place by a woman's hand. Be careful who you love...

Thursday, January 19, 2017

Smoke It, Stream It - It Follows

A supernatural VD which sends an entity to kill you. The only way you can escape it is by sleeping with someone else and thus passing it along to them. This high, horror concept caught my attention as the perfect high, horror concept to get beatifically blazed to and scare the living existential shit out of me. Add in a creepy soundtrack clearly inspired by John Carpenter and a Detroit backdrop and this could be almost perfect.

But it's not. See, I don't get high and watch horror movies because they scare the shit out of me normally. And not being stoned then allows me to notice every plot hole & note each inconsistency. No good. Without the marijuana, it's just a boring night with a potentially sub par piece of entertainment. So don't make the same mistake as me. Get as high as you can muster and see if this scares you into deleting your favorite fuck buddy app. The life you save may be your own.

Monday, January 2, 2017

Trolling on a Sunny Afternoon

It's after the holidays and that buzz you cultivated for the last few weeks has got to come crashing down eventually. Next holiday is Valentine which equals heartache, heartbreak or wallet shakedown. More misery.

But do not despair as these candy-color haired, singing freaks will make fucking rainbows shoot out of your every orifice. What was once a toy or (at best) the top to a novelty pen is now a film with the voices of Justin Timberlake, Zooey Deschanel & Anna Kendrick mostly singing, but some times talking. Yes, there is kind of a plot and it's OK.

So before the Ghost of Januarys Credit Card Statement arrives, grind up that gram and enjoy some kids' eye candy even Jen Stark and her pal Miley would approve of. Smoke it like you stole it.

Retro Movie Moments - Streets of Fire

Flashdance meets The Warriors by way of a musical theater product. Totally worth it, especially through a veil of sweet chiba smoke.

However, the most interesting element about this trailer is zero credit or mention of Willem Defoe, who is pretty amazing in it. Put on your tap biker boots & enjoy.

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Bogarting the Spy Genre - American Ultra

Besides old school stoners Cheech and Chong and the barely tolerable Bluntman and Chronic, there are no good weed superheroes, much less anything resembling a Marvel Cinematic Universe or DC Cinematic Universe. So about lunchtime, I drape my robe over my shoulders like a cape, get a little medicated and pretend I can fill that hole in my life while I stare out the window at the ocean. OK, that’s not true at all, other than the getting baked part. I don’t even own a robe.

I’m just relieved that there is a film like this for summer so I can slap up a posting which requires almost no work at all. Our favorite maryjane starlet Kristen Stewart is in it and that guy from The Social Network who’s going to be Lex Luther is too (so there is a superhero connection here).

Anyway, here's the red band trailer because if you are reading this, you are an adult, right? I need to go buy a robe