Monday, January 2, 2017

Trolling on a Sunny Afternoon

It's after the holidays and that buzz you cultivated for the last few weeks has got to come crashing down eventually. Next holiday is Valentine which equals heartache, heartbreak or wallet shakedown. More misery.

But do not despair as these candy-color haired, singing freaks will make fucking rainbows shoot out of your every orifice. What was once a toy or (at best) the top to a novelty pen is now a film with the voices of Justin Timberlake, Zooey Deschanel & Anna Kendrick mostly singing, but some times talking. Yes, there is kind of a plot and it's OK.

So before the Ghost of Januarys Credit Card Statement arrives, grind up that gram and enjoy some kids' eye candy even Jen Stark and her pal Miley would approve of. Smoke it like you stole it.

Retro Movie Moments - Streets of Fire

Flashdance meets The Warriors by way of a musical theater product. Totally worth it, especially through a veil of sweet chiba smoke.

However, the most interesting element about this trailer is zero credit or mention of Willem Defoe, who is pretty amazing in it. Put on your tap biker boots & enjoy.

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Bogarting the Spy Genre - American Ultra

Besides old school stoners Cheech and Chong and the barely tolerable Bluntman and Chronic, there are no good weed superheroes, much less anything resembling a Marvel Cinematic Universe or DC Cinematic Universe. So about lunchtime, I drape my robe over my shoulders like a cape, get a little medicated and pretend I can fill that hole in my life while I stare out the window at the ocean. OK, that’s not true at all, other than the getting baked part. I don’t even own a robe.

I’m just relieved that there is a film like this for summer so I can slap up a posting which requires almost no work at all. Our favorite maryjane starlet Kristen Stewart is in it and that guy from The Social Network who’s going to be Lex Luther is too (so there is a superhero connection here).

Anyway, here's the red band trailer because if you are reading this, you are an adult, right? I need to go buy a robe

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

The Truth is Not Out There, But Hidden Inside Somewhere

"Plots carry their own logic" - Don Delillo

Conspiracy theories are our modern day folk stories. They come in and out of vogue, but they never, ever truly go away. For every weird, outlandish story, there is some element of truth which is enough to sustain them for years, decades & even centuries. The core of all of these stories is secret plans within plans or secret secrets. The rabbit holes go deep, split off and divide into so many if you try to follow them all, you might as well put on the mercury coated hat and be done with it.

Ah, but just like these stories, I digress. So if you want a rear paranoid film which will make you deactivate you phone's GPS & re-watch Loose Change, why not go with one from the 70s. It has has it all: unmarked military helicopters, murdered whistle blowers, fake space exploration & (it doesn't get any more meta than this this) OJ Simpson. Pull the shades, lock your doors & windows, put a towel under the door and smoke that joint. Enjoy because it's just a movie, right?

Monday, August 3, 2015

He's Dead. They Live. Life Goes On.

When someone we know or love dies, it is a time to morn, but it can draw us together in the glow of memories to appreciate them again. Take a moment to stop fighting with your family, appreciate your loved ones and call friends who you have not seen or talked to in some time. This is the smiley face mask which I place on the grim reaper's mug to make me feel better.

They Live should have been on this site years ago. Only in death was I reminded how great this movie is, especially now when all out class war has never felt closer or more legitimate. Paranoia & entertainment are practically cousins. One's just happens to be a little smarter than the other.

So honor a dead wrestler with a full bowl and some truth defying sunglasses.

Fight the power. Fuck the police. I want to believe. RIP RR Piper.