Anti-Semitic & Painfully Stupid (Or Merely A Waste of My Time, Money & A Perfectly Good High)

In my efforts to not be a slave to Netflix (which I subscribe to, love dearly and own stock in...fuck yes, I am a capitalist), I went down to Paladin Video to browse the shelves for something I wouldn't normally see. The good news was Paladin has a new owner who has teamed up with a dispensary so it is now one stop shopping for your medical marijuana and a movie. This makes my marijuana movie nights even easier to organize. The bad news was I rented and watched The Hebrew Hammer.

I was sold a false bill of goods claiming this was a comedy version of the blaxploitation films except with a tough Jew cracking jokes and skulls. What I got was a film which confused the most tired of one liners and bad stereotypes for humor throughout the entire film. It turned a great concept into something a ten year old boy, who just finished writing his book report on The Protocols of the Elders of Zion, would make into a film. The only thing which would have been more satisfying then seeing the end credits start to roll was if Mel Gibson and Oliver Stone be forced to watch this piece of drek as penance.

I realize this is an awfully long and ranting review, but let me try and encapsulate the experience: the funniest person in the film was Andy Dick. Yes, I just wrote that and I think you may now understand.

Pitchfork Music Festival - Lightning Bolt

Of all the the bands which played, this Rhode Island two man band was the best that played. This is noise rock at it finest and most stripped down: Brian Chippendale on drums and vocals and Brian Gibson on bass guitar. They played in the middle of the afternoon on the last day. I had no idea who they were and was going to get a beer when the roar of their set started and I drifted back to the stage with a few hundred others to see just what the hell was going on. I was planning on seeing Surfers Blood at the other stage, but Lightning Bolt was too amazing to abandon. If you can see this band live, do it.

Pitchfork Music Festival - St Vincent

How can you not love Annie Clark? If you haven't seen St. Vincent, you've not gotten a chance to fall for her and boy, do I feel sorry for you.

Pitchfork Music Festival - Best Coast

Bethany Cosentino has been reading and believing her own press clippings these days. Her and boyfriend Wavves are the current darlings of hipster couples.

Playing on the last day of the festival, she was snotty, bitchy and Best Coast didn't sound all that good. I was too embarrassed to even smoke my California dispensary bought weed during their set. Nice way to represent our fine state.

Once again, one of the cool crowd gets it wrong by acting up for no reason because of an out-of-control ego. Hipsters continue to be hamsters, afraid to jump out of that wheel.

Pitchfork Music Festival - LCD Soundsystem

James Murphy fucking bringing it to close the second day of the three day festival. Not pictured is a big ass disco ball which hung above the stage for their set.

Pitchfork Music Festival - The Liars

Liars lead singer Angus Andrews sweating it out on stage as he rocked his Men At Work shirt and 70s gym shorts. They were great as always.

Props to John Spencer of the Blues Explosion for sporting leather pants in ninety plus degree weather. However, he looked pretty miserable and the band rocked out like they were on automatic pilot so really why bother posting a picture.

Some blues, no explosion, fizzle, puff of smoke. Next band please.

Marijuana Music Nights

I will be traveling to Chicago this week to attend the Pitchfork Music Festival. I hope to get some pictures posted and have some good stories to tell.

The Trouble With Troll (I & II)

Truth be told, after watching Troll I & Troll II, I have been a little blocked writing about the whole experience. So, as best I can, I am going to try and recreate my experience.

Marijuana Movie Night headed down to a sister's place in OB for a 4th of July viewing and barbecue. I only brought the essentials: meat, gram of KC Jones, and the Troll Double Feature DVD.

A few fact and rules are established in the first movie. Trolls are dedicated vegetarians.
They have the power to turn people into trees as wooded areas are their preferred habitat. They need humans to eat their laced food, usually something neon green and nausating looking, in order to change them into vegetables so they can eat them. Nilbog is their town and if you don't believe it, you better try spelling it backwards. The trolls are disgusted by any consumption of meat. When the trolls are (spolier alert!) in their human appearing guise, they are either preaching about the evils of meat eating or trying to make more humans into vegetables to eat. Are you still with me?

Troll II gets off and running with the Waits family moving to Nilbog. Young Joshua suspects things are not what they appear to be in Nilbog. And we are basically off and running with some weird witch-like character,a semi-erotic corn cob scene, a dead grandfather visting from beyond the grave to help, many more trolls, and scene after scene of actors so bad you wonder if there were auditions or this group of people were just pulled out of line at the DMV and handed scripts.

Through the hazy perception of my weed addled brain and the herky jerky lumbering of the plot, I did wonder how many little people ended up working on this film. It was probably a good gig considering all they needed to do was dress up as trolls and walk towards the camera.

I say go watch this, but keep your pipe close and your remote closer because their are some scenes so stupefying they will require an extra viewing to assure what you did see actually happened.

Exploding Whale

Because I have had whales on the brain the last few days, I found this. I hope this never happens to you.

Reading About...Leviathan

This didn't make anyone's summer reading list, but it should have. If you are at all interested in how America first natural resource was a financial engine that helped build much of the great cities on the East Coast, this is for you. That sound too dry for you when you are kicking it at the beach? Here is my other pitch: if you like the reality show Deadliest Catch, you will like this book.

In the introduction, Author Eric Jay Dolin lets us know that if you are looking for an anti-whaling manifesto, this book is sure to disappoint. His painstakingly researched book (there are 175 pages of footnotes) traces the origins of the whale trade in America with a healthy sprinkling of the myths, gore, awe and dangers those fishermen who pursued these behemoth creatures experienced. I am slowly becoming an expert on all the different types of whales out there and what you could get when you chopped them all up for profit. Grim as this sound, this fascinating study would be a great read if you were a fisherman or a historian. I'm neither and digging it.