Oscar Night

I usually find myself browsing my Netflix streaming options rather than investing my time in garbage award shows (which have as much legitimacy as this theory at an earth science conference). I am more excited for the much more fun and earnest Razzies which are on April 1st. 

Get Stone, Stay Stoned

I make my love affair of cinema, sinsemilla & stuff you can ingest for a heightened sense of well being no secret. But often enough, I need to shelve all my previous passions to get out of the house and onto the road with my beautiful Beast. So in an effort to pile all my interests into one tight little taco, I try to see as many biker films as I can, but like bad food, too many of them is going to lead to some down time on the crapper. Stone is an exception, a four star prime beef one.

Somebody in Sydney is killing members of the Grave Diggers motorcycle gang with extreme prejudice. Stone is a motorcycle riding cop assigned to be embedded with them to solve the murders. From there, the plot consists of lots of riding, lots of killing, pretty consistent weed smoking and a fair amount of full frontal male & female nudity. As an extra special bonus, look for the Toecutter from Mad Max as biker Toad. So turn off that Sons of Anarchy crap, roll something up and raise the freak flag high. Live to ride, ride to live.

Retro Movie Moments - Repo Man

Way before Charlie Sheen started ranting his stupid tiger blood & winning nonsense, Emilio Estevez was channeling his own crazy much better up on the screen as the suburban punk rocker Otto. It is the story of a boy, a girl and car with a trunk full of dead aliens. The great Harry Dean Stanton also stars as Bud, the Obi-Wan Kenobi of car repossession.

Do You Want to Go Beyond the Black Rainbow?

Beyond the Black Rainbow made the festival circuit last Spring, but I only recently saw the trailer. This mesmerizing little sci fi, drug trip looks absolutely perfect. I'm a little obsessed with getting to see this somewhere, anywhere. I showed Jocelyn Duke the trailer and she looked at me and said, "That doesn't really make any sense to me." And that seems to be exactly the glorious, perception-warped point of the film. As soon as I track down a place to see this, I'm putting on a jumpsuit and going.

Update: This movie isn't perfect, but it is bound to end up as a cult favorite or at least an excellent midnight movie. Magnolia Pictures has started distributing this to some choice cities so go see it if you can. I recently re-screened it with a handful of people and we all agreed that it is a referential smorgasbord. I missed the Dr. Benway pill bottle the first time around.

Bad Lieutenant - A Possibly Poor First Date Choice

I don't think I am making too outrageous of a statement when I say that most Abel Ferrara films are not the sort of thing you take a lady to on a first date. When Bad Lieutenant came out, I had a friend's friend tell me how he took a girl he had just met to this movie. He was a big Harvey Keitel fan so he didn't see the problem. Well, let's just cut to the end here and mention that this turned out to be his first and final date with her. However, as she was crying afterwards, he did get to find out how her brother was a struggling drug addict and hear some incredibly painful family tales sobbingly retold as he drove her home. "So no handjob," he added at the story's end. I guess he would've had a better shot if he'd met her a few years later and taken her to see Se7en.

So my advice to you, if you do want to increase your chances of a handjob or second date, is to rent The Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call - New Orleans. Werner Herzog moves the story to post-Katrina New Orleans and makes every shot sexy as hell. Throw in Eva Mendes & Nic Cage doing tons of blow, plus Xzibit as a drug dealer. So trade in that confrontational New York City NC-17 grittiness for a more panty dropping ilk. Nobody is going to get in the mood for romance with a naked, whimpering Keitel on your screen.

Chronicle

I hope this is as awesome as the trailer looks. Is this the new Unbreakable?

Super Bowl Sunday

Whether it's for your team, the commercials or the parties (or just the unbridled booze hounding), enjoy this all American holiday.